It’s been a while since I’ve blogged original content. A long time, actually.
And I have to admit that I miss it like crazy. Writing for an internship (that I love) and for classes (that kill me) is fun and all, but I miss writing for ME.
I came across my editor’s personal blog, and I couldn’t get over the fact that a mom of two, an editor and a teacher has the time to post blogs weekly. I thought, “Hey, I don’t have kids, or a staff with all eyes on me…I can post too. I NEED to post.”
So, here we are. Posting. About life, about the goings-on in my brain…just about stuff. The hottest topic on hand? Graduation. Come December, I should be good and done with my bachelor’s career, and onto a new career.
Quite honestly, this scares the hell out of me. I have been a lover of school and learning before I even started school. The kid who started reading before kindergarten, who cried the first day of kinder because I didn’t get homework is expected to leave the comforts of the university walls and attempt to land a job that will pay enough to fill my gas tank.
BUT! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a tad excited. Finally leaving my job in retail and working for what I’ve studied for what seems like a lifetime is exhilarating. The hard work will (hopefully) pay off.
I’ve seen how some of my friends have fared since they graduated and they have done so well for themselves. I’m so proud of them and excited, and anxious/eager to be right there with them.
I still have this semester to get through, which, like every semester, will be my hardest yet. It almost brings me to tears knowing I’ll be registering for my LAST semester at Arizona State in less than two weeks.
Looking back, I cannot thank God enough for the blessings I have received during my time here. It was rough at times, even desperate, but through grace and mercy I have reached this point. Despite my nerves and the foggy outlook into the job sector, I have tremendous faith knowing that the Lord will plant me where I need to be, when I need to be.
I’m excited to share my last nine months and look back at all the hurdles and mountains in the rearview mirror.
Fear the fork.
The feeling of defeat happens every semester.
The feeling of stress happens every semester.
Unlike the past semesters, this year I felt the sting of those during the first three weeks.
Going to school full time, working part time and doing an internship took a fast toll on me. The stress built up, the defeat boiled, my brain wracked with trying to manage my time and my life. I was about to hit a breaking point. I felt it. That point where I just want to give up, throw in the towel and walk away from it all. I couldn’t understand why I was getting so upset at corrections on my articles, why I couldn’t conceive good story ideas, why I couldn’t get up for work in the morning.
Then it all flooded back to me: NATALIE was trying to do it all. I wasn’t letting the Lord get me through it, wasn’t letting Him figure my junk out, wasn’t letting HIM manage my life.
Once I was reminded by my bestie that I had to offer it up, a sense of bashfulness came over me.
DUH! How could I have missed that step? We’re human. We mess up. We fall, stumble, trip. But we HAVE to let the Lord pick us up and we have to be willing to walk in HIS footsteps.
Today I was brought to tears at how good God’s grace and mercies are. I FINALLY conceived some ideas for my magazine writing class, and my teacher was very excited about my topic, and my editor gave me some positive feedback. God answers prayers! Stress and defeat are not from Him, and therefore should have no room in our lives.
Little reminders go a long way, and prayer changes everything.